Letting go of ingrained self-identity traits that no longer serve you

As the new year takes hold and January comes to an end, do you find yourself reflecting on the buzz of new intentions and what this really means for you in the year ahead? 

I’ve been reflecting on my journey over the pst few years as I settle into 2024 with positive excitement! 

Do you know that not so long ago I was a CFO supporting businesses to thrive (if not to stay afloat!).

Pouring my heart and soul into the ambition, dreams and pockets of others. I’ve spent most of my adult life in the traditional world of business and finance in one way or another. That is until I committed to this new creative path I find myself on! 

And let me tell you, starting a creative business that is the deepest, most authentic, and most vulnerable version of you (there is no other way) is much harder than running businesses that others have created!

So how did I get here? What led me to pursue this crazy, sometimes awkward, yet to be refined and fully established, audacious, creative path? And how did I shift from one very strong identity as a finance professional into a starkly different one as a creative?

I don’t think I ever realised that creativity was an option as a career until I was nearly 40! Can you relate? I grew up with parents who encouraged me to make sensible, logical choices. That truly believed creativity was at best, a pointless hobby and at worst a complete waste of time!! Yikes!

I always had a little creativity bubbling inside of me, but even at school, I was discouraged from pursuing the arts and instead did two languages and a bunch of business subjects! 

As I immersed myself in the hustle and bustle of business life in my 20s and unintentionally climbed the corporate ladder in my 30s I became curious about what it would be like to have a slower, more intentional life. Cooking for my family and growing a garden. Making elaborate patchwork quilts for the sole purpose of adding sentimental charm to our lives. Making time to just create things for the hell of it! I had a creative whisper, niggling at me that just wouldn’t go away.

I found myself at a crossroads as I entered my 40s and took a year to try out different creative endeavours to see if I could start a side hustle and eventually create a creative business. It was during this year that I found art. Specifically, I rediscovered a love of drawing and painting with acrylics. And it stuck and I’ve just kept going. However I still identified as a finance and business professional. It was deeply ingrained in my psyche. It gave me a large part of my self-worth. So I took a ‘part-time’ job in a small business. With the intention of growing my art career on the side. Within 6 months I was full-time running the business. 4 years later (there’s a story here for another time!), I felt so used and abused in this business relationship that I had no choice but to stop, take a break and unpick who I believed I was.

This was the turning point. It’s taken a long time to unpick. But I looked at all the art I have created since starting my journey. All the beauty and the secrets that have unfolded for me through my art. The support, clarity and strength I have gained from my creative process. And I realised that I don’t have to choose to identify with that CFO version of myself anymore! It’s a huge deal. So huge that there is no turning back! But is just that, a CHOICE. And nothing more complicated than that. 

Have you had a major identity shift in your career or your life? Do you feel one coming? I would love to hear your story. Please DM me on Instagram @samhortonstudio or email me at [email protected]. 

Take care

Sam x

Sam Horton is a professional artist, passionate about the links between art, creativity and well-being.

Learn more about Holistic art practices for well-being

Sam's Art Studio and Studio Shop are based in Australia on the Sunshine Coast.

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